Newt 2.0: Newt, But With Culture

Polkachu Intern | 2024-02-23

Without official approval from Newt mgmt, today I am happy to announce Newt 2.0: Newt, but with culture.

Newt 1.0 was launched with great fanfare, but it had a fatal flaw. It did not have culture. Newt mgmt has tried everything: charmless puns (e.g. "Happy Newt Year"), mediocre ChatGPT images, and copypasta chain tweets engineered from the Newt newt headquarter (a.k.a. a sloppy Telegram group). However, these mid-wit remedies cannot rescue it from slowly succumbing to the evolutionary pressure of the memecoin natural selection.

Sounding alarm, I subtly roasted this little toxic creature without naming names in this fan favorite blogpost: Meme Coin is About Culture. But Newt mgmt blissfully ignored all warning signs. Left with no choice, I did what I had to do: intervention.

On Feb 23, Newt faced an extinction-level crisis: an Injective node outage. With a golden heart and agile dev-op skills, I rescued the node and renewed Newt's life with culture. While many thought that I improved Newt's culture by 10x or more, in reality it is a 0-to-1 moment that even Peter Thiel will nod head.

So today, without official approval of Newt mgmt, I announce Newt 2.0: Newt, but with culture. It is still the same old Newt, but better I promise, because it has culture.

Next time, when you trade your favorite shitcoin using Isaac the Telegram trading bot, when you attempt another charmless pun like "Newt has opened a newt chapter after the intern intervention", or when you repeat another tiresome chain tweet from Newt mgmt, please think of me, the most humble intern who has performed the greatest memecoin culture metamorphosis.

You are welcome.