Mysterious Hacker Steals 1/3 $OSMO Emission Every Day Since 1Y Anniversary

Polkachu Team | 2022-06-21

[Disclaimer: It is an Onion-style satirical take on Osmosis' Thirdening]

Osmosis, one of the leading DEX with the ambition to overtake Centralized Exchange one day, has suffered a theft of 1/3 token emissions each day since its 1-year anniversary.

The exploit was first discovered by Polkachu's Intern who relies on the token farming rewards to afford 3 meals each day. "When I noticed that my income could only afford 2 meals yesterday, I knew something was wrong."

The incidence was quickly reported to the Osmosis core team yesterday, who at that moment was oblivious to the exploit due to a pre-planned anniversary celebration.

To assess the broader community impact, Polkachu reached out to our go-to Interchain commentary source and Twitter Extraordinaire @jabbey. "I got 10 int OSMO yesterday, but I get 6.6666 float64 OSMO today. Panic!" When asked for elaboration, he shouted, "My context deadline has exceeded!" and then ran off to fight another good Twitter fight.

Through an on-chain message, the hacker asked the community to participate in a perverse pixel game to deliver his evil manifesto. "You can only use 1 pixel at a time every 30 blocks. I will return the funds once my evil manifesto is spelled out loud and clear to the world."

Due to the permissionless nature of the blockchain, the Osmosis community is currently making a mess on the pixel canvas. For example, one prankster changed one pixel to alter "Node" to "Nude". The hope to regain control of the funds is close to nil.

While the identity of the hacker is still unknown, the hacker had made a few voice transmissions to Polkachu's breaking news desk. "Osmosis is too easy. Just a couple of weeks ago, a couple of my associates made a few swaps and received 50% extra in each transaction."

"We have been using the same exploit to steal 1/2 of the Bitcoin emission every 4 years. Those Bitcoin Maxis are too busy painting green frogs and laser eyes. They still have no idea!"

"We will continue to steal 1/3 of the token emissions each year until we exhaust the inflation on Year 10. Happy Birthday, Osmosis. Mmmmmmhahaha!" Then the voice transmission went cold.