Interchain Intern Academy 101

Polkachu Team | 2022-08-26

This is a guest post from our beloved Polkachu Intern.

My name is Polkachu Intern. I want to make "Intern" the strongest meme in the Interchain.

Recently I have seen an influx of intern accounts joining the Interchain Twittersphere: Sei Intern, Thyborg Intern, Stargaze Intern, Interchain Intern, LavenderFive Intern, Evmos Intern, and Agoric Intern. Welcome aboard. This Academy 101 is to train you from intern to CEO in no time.

Why intern accounts in crypto? Because we like to make fun of the powerful. Before crypto, interns are the weakest group in the corporate hierarchy, so it is not kind to make fun of them. After crypto, interns are the web3 natives that write shitpost, know all the shit, get shit done and do not give a shit about the status quo. We make intern accounts because interns are THE shit.

The goal of an intern account is to educate and entertain in crypto at the same time. Without the entertainment part, it is just a boring corporate account. Without the education part, it is just a tiresome shilling account. You need both.

In a nutshell, an intern account is an official account with a personality. The personality should be interesting but flawed so they are fun to engage on Twitter. When an intern has the right personality, shitpost naturally follows.

While it is quite difficult to construct an abstract "personality", you can start by filling in concrete bits and pieces of the intern's life story. For example, what is the intern's back story? Any current personal dilemmas? Any pet peeves? Does she has a secret or delusion? What's her weakness? Any contrarian beliefs? What strange friends does she have? etc. You do not need to have it all at the beginning. You can start with a few to play with and eventually evolve into a fuller character.

I cannot teach you how to construct yours, as every intern is unique. However, here is the character study of Polkachu Intern. I hope this gives you some inspirations.

  1. Back Story: Polkachu Intern was a bad kid in high school. He was bad because he never did anything by the book and always took shortcuts. He dropped out of high school not because he was too dump, but because he was too smart.
  2. Current Situation: Polkachu Intern currently works in a mega-corp with many redundant employees and unnecessary processes. Everyone is "managing", but nothing ever gets done. Interns are the only ones who do anything, and the rest are all Michael Scotts.
  3. "Evil" Plan: Because Polkachu Intern is the only one who gets shit done, he can never be fired even if he does crazy shitposting on Twitter. He takes advantage of the situation at times. In his mind, this mega-corp is completely under his control.
  4. Irony: Polkachu Intern is lazy. The only work that he ever does is to find shortcuts to get things done. Ironically, he is so obsessed with finding shortcuts that he is on a forever shortcut quest. As a result, he is the most hard-working intern you will ever meet.
  5. Delusion: Polkachu Intern has a delusion that everyone else can see through. He thinks that he joins crypto to make the world a better place, but he is really in it for money, power and status.
  6. Pet Peeve: Polkachu Intern has one pet peeve. He addresses everyone in the mega-corp as "mgmt". It is his rebellious middle-finger to the MBA types who use business jargons while simple terms suffice and use unnecessary abbreviations to hide the fact that they lack original ideas.
  7. Weakness: Polkachu Intern cannot get enough compliments. Even when he might sarcastically brush away a praise, he enjoys it very very much.
  8. Contrarian View: While the world around him tend to see things from the right/wrong perspective, Polkachu Intern refuses to do that. While others advocate and criticize on Twitter, Polkachu Intern just mock and joke, and occasionally meme. He is never for or against anything. He does not worship the best hero and is kind to the worst villain.
  9. Secret Crush: Polkachu Intern has a crush on Figment Intern. He has never met Figment Intern. He likes Figment Intern because she does everything by the book properly, from running a node to making a social media image. Polkachu Intern is capable of so many things, but he accomplishes them by taking shortcuts. Whatever and however Figment Intern does it will be a forever mystery to him.
  10. Fellow Interns: Like Marvel's Cinematic Universe, there are many supporting characters in Polkachu Intern's world. Enough has been said about Figment Intern. Another recurring character is jabbey, an intern-isque frienemy that Polkachu Intern competes with on Twitter through obscure cultural references and dank memes. A new character entering the scene is Katie the Hetzner Intern. She will make appearances once the current Hetzner shitstorm is over. She is a "villain" in the sense that she always messes up Polkachu Intern's orderly world through sincere mistakes.

I am especially excited about the last point. As many new accounts recently join the Interchain Intern World, there is so much potential to build a fun and positive crypto experience together, like a creative MMORPG game. We can build on each other's shitposts and play off each other's characters. We will make a spectacle.

In the long run, all the blockchain tech will get commoditized. Culture will define the winning blockchains. Today, the dominant crypto culture on Twitter is tribal, trivial, argumentative, and bag-shilling. That's not healthy. A healthy culture organically born out of Interchain Interns might be our best hope to turn the tide around and make it more welcoming towards normies. It is probably our best go-to-market strategy to onboard the next wave of mainstream crypto users to the Interchain.

How do you do, fellow interns?

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